The 6 Counsels Of Exceptional Devastation
Getting Past The F*ckedup-ness Of Life’s ‘Gifts’
Can I touch the center of my pain? Can I sit with suffering, both yours and mine,
without trying to make it go away? Can I stay present to the ache of loss
or disgrace—disappointment in all its many forms—and let it open me?
This is the trick. ~ Pema Chodron
No, hell no!…please let me wallow and
moan for a moment first.
Losing everything twice in 5 years can make a person cray cray plain ‘n simple.
In 2009/2010 financial loss began occurring at a rate that was making me faint. At the end of that period, the accumulation of wealth and things for a lifetime lessened by 95%.
It happened for a very good reason though. I had been acquiring healing tools since 2006 and everything else fell by the wayside. There was no time to make money. I was only spending money. And in 2009 it began catching up with me.
There is nothing more important than the way I feel, and the cutting edge tools I was gathering were providing me with deeper levels of inner peace and closer alignment with Who I Really Am. So I am NOT crying over that spent money.
Along with the financial depravation and the loss of my home during that time, the deepest pain resulted from a set of parents leaving their bodies, my beloved animal companions being relocated to another loving home, a relationship ending abruptly and the loss of an inheritance that was supposed to make the money right again. All in one year.
Can you say pits o’ hell?
Then, after several years and being settled with the new lifestyle, in the blink of an eye it all went up in flames, literally. I awoke with my bed on fire. By the time assistance arrived there was nothing to save.
What the f*ck just happened? …………?
I had NOTHING but the clothes on my back. It was catastrophic according to the Red Cross. Lying down and dying became a strong option after these back-to-back thrashings. The thought of starting fresh in a new body was looking like just the thing to get me over the hump.
Even tho it was the consummate achievement (gawd I hope) in emotional and financial can-it-get-any-more-f*cked-up-than-this wreckage, there were 'gifts'. These particular kinds of gifts are not presented with beautiful wrappings or grand flourishes tho. They are usually the kind that come with the greeting:
Use this in case of feeling extreme happiness
accompanied by a 'got it all worked out' perspective
accompanied by a 'got it all worked out' perspective
I will spare you the trail of devastation this wreaked in my life ON ALL LEVELS (hideous) and will stick with the basic Counsels of Exceptional Devastation.
6 Counsels Of Exceptional Devastation
1. I Thought Too Damn Much.
I thought I was in my forever home. I thought I had paid my dues. I thought I was finally in a sanctuary that would serve me until I left this body. I thought this. I thought that. The overthinking threw me into the assuming/expectation zone.
On the flip side: We do need to think a bit while we are breathing.
2. The Dust Will Never Settle. Get Use To It. THAT IS LIFE.
When our number is up and the next big deal explodes our life into a million little pieces there is trauma, anger, resistance to change, horrific emotional pain. At the end of that cycle (it may take awhile) comes a period of acceptance (still working on that one). During the acceptance phase we think the dust is settling and we are finally there! WRONG, just flat, f*cking (did I just use the word ‘f*ck’ again?) wrong. It may be settled for a moment…
On the flip side: There is no flip side. Altho it is all good, it still sucks.
3. Never Expect Anywhere To Be Your Final Destination.
When we agree to an accelerated and dynamic evolution we are inviting extreme circumstances to strip us down. Just when we feel we have had the thrashing of a lifetime and it can’t get anymore excruciating, it does.
The flip side is that life does not have to be categorized in terms of catastrophes, disasters etc., altho it feels like that. It takes a very different awareness to be in gracious acceptance while something is detonating right before your very eyes and KNOWING that life will never be the same.
4. Safety Outside Of Our SELF Is An Illusion.
Agonizing yet exquisite events dredge up unhealed places in us that are full of fear. Fear of lack of safety in the physical, financial, etc. The ONLY SAFE PLACE IS WITHIN, IN OUR ALIGNMENT WITH AUTHENTIC SELF. There is no other.
And on the flip side, we do have to participate in this physical reality and keep the body fed and sheltered for it to transport us thru time and the 3rd dimensional construct. So I am not saying that we NOT participate in that. I am saying that we have to let go of the FEAR involved with the potential of losing what we consider to be SAFE circumstances.
5. Surrendering To The Flow Of Our Authentic Self Is The FINAL FRONTIER.
I only thought (there I go thinking again) that I had offered up the final surrender after the 2010 debacle. Giving up mindset in what I perceived as final surrender was and is a work in progress. It is good to make plans and goals. And after we make them, we must live moment-by-moment in surrender to accommodate for the shifts that will accompany the forward movement. The end result, if there ever is an end result, may not resemble the primary goal of what we had in mind at all.
On the flip side, we do have to manage our lives in a way that benefits us and there is a certain amount of planning and controlling with that. When we surrender, those ‘control’ paths will unfold with more ease and a natural flow. We will be shown the way to live that will be more conducive to creating a space of joy and balance that may seem like control on the outer yet it is nothing more than our Selves leading us to a space of grace.
6. This Last One Is An Unwritten Counsel (yet written here for absolute clarity). Your devastation experience earned you the right to flip out and slip out of your evolutionary, ‘on-the-path’ behavior. Instead of smiling serenely with your hands folded gracefully in your lap saying “its all good. I will learn from this. I am accepting this with ease” bullshit, get down and dirty and say F*ck as much as you’d like and in any combination as suits your particular bent. You can accept your poopy devastation pile with grace later, but right now let ‘er rip!
Here are a few choice phrases that can be used either verbally or mentally to express your disdain. They served me quite well:
Here are a few choice phrases that can be used either verbally or mentally to express your disdain. They served me quite well:
Did that just f*cking happen?
Don’t look at me with that f*cking pity face? This phrase is directed at those who are sorely underestimating your ability to be indignant at this delicate time.
F*ck iiiiiiiiiit!
What the f*ckity f*ck?
Did you just f*cking say that to me? This is in times when an insensitive person has made a gross error in judgment with a remark about your devastation. You are perfectly within your rights to counter. Just don’t allow it to escalate and walk away, quickly, to make sure you have had the final fucking word.
I feel like I am f*cking losing my mind.
I need some f*cking help here!
And as you look back from your state of hard-earned grace and review your emotional outbreaks and reactions, be kind to your Self. Do not punish your Self for allowing your BEing-ness to respond the way it needed. Look back with love and extend generosity.
Forgive your Self if need be, but really there is
nothing to forgive in being authentic and true.
We have eternity to work it out!
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In Love With You,
Aniel Lia Love
🎀🎀
................
Aniel Lia Love
© 08.02.2014
All Rights Reserved
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